Self-Contemplation About disappearance.

07th July 2018, 12.48 AM.

If i can tell a bit about summary of my life, then it's safe to said that it's shattered to the unimaginable state, i cant hold this grief, my work's becoming uneasy, people keep tricking me, and no one will hear my stupid anxiety.

At this moment, i don't really understand about my own decision, i never know about my own purpose, i dont know why im still alive until now, hell, even i cant think clearly when writing this post.

I know that i shouldn't care about people's decision at all, but all the event that was just flashed on my very eyes keeping my mind to perpetually think about possible outcome and its problem solving method, sadly, it drag myself into the problem itself, just for the sake of.. as i said, i dont know why.

I have a dream too, its generic i can say, i want to make people happy, its a backfire because it ended by them keep tricking me, lie and manipulated me, and just leave me when i cant do anything anymore for them.

Basic on the bitter past, i'm always striving for the best for something i considered as one that worthy enough to, but seems it keep circling inside the hell pattern. Hah, i thought being ignored, left alone and underestimated by everyone was devastating enough, now i need to deal with such thing too.

Tonight, i just want to die without any trace, thank you for messing up my life, maybe world will be better if my existence is none, you wont looking for me anyway. haha.